Uncomfortable Conversations: When Sin Feels Like Identity

A Christian Testimony on Sexual Immorality, Deception, and Freedom in Christ

Many Christians struggle with a dangerous question they are often afraid to say out loud:

What if the sin that feels natural is actually who I am?

When sin feels natural, it can begin to feel like identity. And when identity is confused, repentance starts to feel like self-hatred instead of freedom.

This personal testimony confronts the lie that sexual immorality is identity—and reveals how Jesus Christ exposes deception and brings true freedom.

This message is for believers wrestling with sexual sin, hidden compromise, and the belief that “God made me this way.” It is not written to condemn, but to call sinners—myself included—to repentance, truth, and transformation through Christ.

When Sexual Sin Starts to Feel Like Identity

One of the most dangerous lies believers can fall into is this:

If it feels natural, God must have made me this way.

That lie almost destroyed me.

Sexual immorality is one of the most hidden sins in the church. It thrives in secrecy. It grows in silence. It survives through justification.

And one reason sin is so enticing is simple: It is far easier to live in sin than it is to crucify the flesh.

Denying yourself requires death. Sin only requires indulgence.

During a season of heartache and emotional instability, I came to a conclusion that felt logical at the time. I believed God designed me to need more than one woman.

It felt natural to maintain one primary relationship while keeping others quietly in the background. And because there were women willing to accept that arrangement, I took it as confirmation rather than conviction.

I told myself I was being mostly honest. I reasoned that I would only need to lie to one person—to “protect her feelings.” Outside of that, I convinced myself there was no deception.

No cheating. No betrayal. Just mutual understanding.

Friends with benefits. Emotional safety nets. Backup plans.

It felt right. And because it felt right, I assumed God was okay with it.

How Christians Justify Sexual Sin Using Scripture

Despite living in willful sin, I remained active in church.

I volunteered. I gave tithes and offerings. I served at charity events.

In my mind, the good I was doing balanced out the sin I was hiding.

At times, I even used Scripture—twisted and stripped of context—to justify my lifestyle. After all, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

But I ignored the full counsel of God’s Word:

“But King Solomon loved many foreign women… and his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God… Therefore the Lord said to Solomon, ‘Because you have done this… I will surely tear the kingdom away from you.’” (1 Kings 11:1–11, NKJV)

God did not bless Solomon’s compromise. He judged it.

I convinced myself I had a calling like Solomon’s. I wasn’t rebelling—I was rewriting obedience.

And the most deceptive part of all?

I felt closer to God. More peaceful. More fulfilled.

My problems felt smaller. My conscience quieter.

I genuinely believed I was living the life I was born to live.

Why Sin Feels Natural to the Flesh but Not to the Spirit

Here is the truth I did not understand at the time:

Sin felt natural because it was—but not because it was holy.

It felt natural because it aligned with my sin nature, not my new nature in Christ.

Scripture is clear:

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh… For to be carnally minded is death.” (Romans 8:5–6, NKJV)

Sexual immorality did not feel foreign to me—it felt familiar.

And when familiarity becomes identity, sin stops feeling like bondage and starts feeling like self-expression.

This is how deception works:

“Who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator…” (Romans 1:25, NKJV)

I had shaped God into my image instead of allowing Him to remake me into His.

When the Church Becomes a Comfortable Place to Stay in Sin

Over time, everything became easier.

Easier to justify. Easier to compartmentalize. Easier to hide.

Sin always becomes easier the longer it goes unconfronted.

And as I lived in darkness, I began to realize something unsettling—I was not alone. I knew others in the church carrying similar secrets.

We had created a place where sin could be hidden, managed, and excused.

A comfortable place to go to hell from.

Not because Christ was insufficient—but because we refused to surrender.

“And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” (John 3:19, NKJV)

Encountering the Real Jesus, Not Religion

Everything changed when I encountered Jesus Christ for real.

Not church. Not religion. Not routine.

Christ.

When I was born again, I received a new nature:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV)

As I surrendered to Him, my mind began to be renewed:

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2, NKJV)

What once felt normal began to feel immoral. What once felt safe became repulsive.

Not because anyone shamed me—but because light exposed what darkness had normalized.

The chains I once defended were the very chains Christ came to break.

Sin Is Not Your Identity — Christ Is

Just because something feels natural does not mean it is from God.

We are not called to affirm our sin nature. We are called to crucify it.

“And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:24, NKJV)

Jesus did not come to affirm what God calls sin. He came to call sinners to repentance.

Not by force. Not by manipulation. But by truth.

And truth sets captives free.

There Is Freedom in Christ

If you see yourself in this story, hear this clearly:

You are not too far gone. You are not disqualified. You are not beyond redemption.

But you cannot be free while defending what Christ died to deliver you from.

“If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36, NKJV)

I praise God for the transforming power of the blood of Jesus Christ.

Remember to strive to walk in God's truth, even when it says you're a liar.“Let God be true but every man a liar.” (Romans 3:4, NKJV)